Naked In Paradise: How It Works In "Winter"

Naked In Paradise:

How It Works In "Winter"  

By Mike Southernsun

"So how does it work in the winter?!" 

That was the sum total of a text message that I received late last Fall. It came from a young lady, who shall go nameless, but who is very near and dear to my heart. I was there when she was born and we've been pretty close ever since. Only a couple of years ago did I let her know that I am a long  time nudist, and that I was going to retire here at Paradise Lakes. She was characteristically supportive, and her question was out of genuine curiosity. 

Let's face it, the question is legitimate! And as I meet more and more people who are interested in nudism, it may be a more widespread question than we realize.

So I thought I would tackle that question for this post. But, be warned. Some of my ideas may be more legit than others.

First, a little perspective on winter in the Tampa area. The government has kept official records on temperatures in Tampa since 1890. The coldest it's ever been was 18° and that was on December 13, 1962. However January is usually the coolest month of the year, and Tampa averages no more than three days a year when the temperature dips below 32°F. (In case you are wondering, Tampa's official high temp is 99 degrees, and that was set on June 5, 1985.)

The coldest place live ever lived is in the mountains of Virginia. There were times during winter when we would go weeks just wishing the high would reach 18°. My friends from points north like Minnesota, Wisconsin, New York, and Canada can put my stories to shame. But, our dear friends who are collectively and affectionately called "snowbirds" don't come here to think about winter. They  come here to forget about it.

However, we also come here to be nudists. So brace yourself. There may be days when you have to wear a robe, sweater, or dare I say, pants. Fret not dear reader. Here now is you news you can use. Here are some tips on how to survive winter in Paradise.

The hot tub is awesome on chilly days. However, when you get out you don't want to be fumbling around while you are wet and naked. So before you get in, be proactive. Place your robe strategically so that when you get out of the hot tub you can slide right into that bad boy. No really great revelation here, most people figure this one out pretty quickly on their own.

Last winter several of us were in the hot tub, when someone else joined us and mentioned that it was kind of cold. This kicked off a  round robin game of 'who has the most absurd winter hardship story?' It sounded like this: 

"Cold?! You don't know from cold! Why in my day we used to have to trudge to school barefoot in the snow, uphill both ways, and the temperature was 26, no make that 27 degrees below absolute zero. Yeah, those winters were brutal in Brooksville!" 

Another way to increase social interaction during the cooler days, is to get a big crock pot of vegetable beef soup going and offer it up to passers by. Perhaps even some jalapeño cornbread would be nice. I've never actually done this, but I'm hoping that some of my neighbors might be reading this.

You can also play a game of 'can you recognize people" with their clothes ON?' By the way, this also works in the store year round. "Oh hi! Sorry didn't realize that was you."

Here's some advice on what NOT to do. After traipsing around taking an air bath, as nudist Benjamin Franklin called it, avoid the temptation to share your delight with others in a frigid climate. Something as simple as "78° here and am sunning naked, " can lead to a response that may strongly suggest you do something that, to my knowledge, is physically impossible. That is, of course, provided that your friend's fingers are not frozen solid to the keyboard. 

Live long. Live naked. Gloat not.

Again no great revelation on my part. Folks usually pick up on that one pretty fast as well.

I don't know anybody who particularly likes the fact that the days are shorter. Shorter days particularly cramp my style. But here's one way to look at it. You just don't have to wait so long for some dazzling sunsets. I don't know if it's because of longitude and latitude, winter sun angles here in Florida, the make up of particles in the atmosphere, or maybe someone around here is just holding their nose right. Whatever the reason, frequently the sunsets here are breathtakingly spectacular. On second thought, maybe shorter days are a small price to pay for such beauty.

The days are now growing longer, and here in the northern hemisphere, astronomical winter ends on Wednesday, March 19, 2014. But in the meantime, how does it work here in winter? I have drawn two conclusions.

1) If you are wintering here at Paradise Lakes or points nearby, it works pretty damned well. 

2) If you are reading from any place that feels like a frozen tundra, uh, er, somehow, ahem, we manage to muddle through it.

(Live long. Live naked. Gloat not.)